WAIT!

As God teaches me more about waiting on His timing, a friend posted this reading.  It inspired me and met me where I am.

Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried,
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate, 
And the Master so gently said, 
"Child you must wait."

"Wait? You say, Wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"

Is your hand shortened or have you not heard?
By faith, I have asked, and I'm claiming your word.

My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance, and You tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign, or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
we need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
"I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly I learned of my fate As my Master replied once again, 

"You must wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut and grumbled to God, 

"So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine, and He tenderly said, 

"I could give you a sign.  I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.  

I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.  

You would have what you want--

But, you wouldn't know me.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint;

You'd not know the power I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me when darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;

You'd know that I give and I save....(for a start)

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of my heart

The glow of My comfort late into the night, 

the faith that I give when you walk without sight,

The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked

From an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee, what it means that

"My grace is sufficient for thee."
Yes, your dreams for your loved-one overnight would come true,

But, Oh, the Loss! if you missed what I'm doing in you!

So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see

that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though oft may My answers seem terribly late, 

My most precious answer of all is still 'WAIT'"

~Russell Kelfer (as seen in The Daily Encourager)

More of you and less of me...

This phrase is so much easier to say than to walk out as I am reminded and continue to learn. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind filled with many emotions: excitement, anger, frustration, hurt, happiness, love, joy, peacefulness, anxiousness and the list could go on. It's so easy to look at hurdles and obstacles that we have to cross in life's road and to get frustrated. It's so easy to question God and ask 'What are you doing???' It's so easy to ask 'WHY?'. It's so easy to ask for answers right now and wonder when they will come. It's so easy to feel all alone and to again question why God is stripping seemingly everything away. But the most amazing thing, is God's work in the process and I can hear him saying 'wait my child, abide in me and I will give you answers as you need them.' He assures that it is ok to be angry, to want to scream or punch someone, it's ok to cry, be honest with Him about how you feel. And amidst all of these things he gives blessings that are greater than anything else. :)
I feel my heart exploding with all God is teaching/reminding/showing me right now. This song has spoken to me many times in the past few weeks:
                           
 For the past few years I've loved the verse "The heart of man plans his way but the Lord establishes his steps." (Proverbs 16:9)  and it's true, we head down the path that we feel we are being led on and God reminds us that it's not our way but His.  His plans are inconceivable but nothing is sweeter

than being in His will (but it will not always come easily). To be in His will means constant surrender of EVERYTHING.  Earlier this week I was crying and commenting about how my life is changing and so many things are out of my control, so many things are much bigger than me I can't even try to solve them. I was reminded 'Marie, do you think that is what God is working on?  Surrender the control and trust Him.'  After this lesson, I was driving in the car, still trying to analyze life, trying to figure out the why's in life, and trying to figure out why God keeps telling me to "Be Still, and Rest in Me".  (I have protested and said 'I know that but right now God I don't want to sit still! I don't want to think, and He keeps taking me back to 'Be Still, Abide in ME, REST!'  As I was analyzing, the radio announcer said 'sometimes God takes us into a place of rest to make us rest and to refresh us and to teach us.  Don't resist this rest'...haha, nothing like confirmation on what God is teaching.  The broadcaster said read Psalm 23.  A Psalm I've read many times but one I cannot get out of my head this week. "He makes me lie down in green pastures..he restores my soul."

Later in the week we went to visit one of mom's friends, the first sign I saw on her walls was 'Be still and know that I am God." I am learning to savor the hours of time that He has given me to 'be still, to rest in Him,to delight in Him.' We serve such a mighty God, one who is so full of love for us, who fills us to overflowing with his joy and his grace. We are blessed.
The last HUGE idea God continues to instill in me is to just praise Him in all things and for all things. I look at all I am blessed with and how can I not give praise? Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice"

A few of the blessings the past few weeks:
1.) Met my new nephew :)
2.) Saw ALL of my cousins on the Christianson side for the first time in years
3.) Was able to be home to share in the celebration of life for my grandmother.
4.) Got to be around for Landon's (new nephew) baby dedication
5.) Quality time with cousins
6.) The opportunity to help clean out my other grandma's house.
7.) God's amazing creation and beautiful fall leaves.
8.) No allergies
9.) Time with friends
10.) God's ever present love and grace.
11.) Praise and Worship music on the radio!
12.) Meeting the girls in my brothers' lives.
13.) Great time/conversations with my sister Rachel.
14.) Adventures with my brothers.
15.) A supportive, encouraging team here who are making the transition back to the states a bit easier.
16.) Learning how to pray for and empathize with people in new ways.
"Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise, when the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say Blessed be the name."

What a mighty God we serve. Have a blessed weekend dear friends! :)